Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Mad at God - Sexual Abuse in Children

I've said it before.  I don't get God's messages.

But does He really need to work this hard to get his point across?

Okay God, I get it.  But please, leave the little kids out of it.

You see, this is why I can't believe in you.

I can believe in a great universe, with good and evil in it, striving towards perfect balance.  This way evil is noone's fault and it is just up to us to do the best we can to eliminate the small pockets of it that we can, strive to eliminate evil in ourselves and hope for more balance the next time around.

Baby steps and all towards balance.

But when you keep shoving these poor kids in my face, these children who are beaten and neglected and abused and unloved, these children who stand no real chance at all in this life, children whose best hope is to stay out of prison, whose greatest achievement might be, maybe, just possibly, with some luck,  to learn how to read and maybe stay away from drugs and just stick to alcohol, and maybe only beat their wives and not their children.....

Really, Lord, if you are out there, what are you trying to prove?

Alright.  I am leaving Lawnton.  The twins are out too.  I get the message.

But what about these other kids?

Why are these children exposing themselves sexually to mine?  Why are they touching my boys where they shouldn't be touched?

Why are the adults not seeing this?  Or treating it as normal?

Why am I scared to make waves and warn my friends about this?

Why am I worried that people will say I overreacted?

It's more than one child, Lord.  It's little girls and boys crying out for help.

Why don't they get it?

All I can do is trust that there is a reason for all this - or that there is no reason and it is up to me to protect mine.

All I can do is protect mine.

How can I raise boys with respect for themselves and for women if they are going into school everyday and their classmates are showing them their vaginas?  Or touching their penis's out on the playground during tigi/tag? 

Why am I the only adult this seems to disturb?

Alright God, I get the message..  I'll get mine out and let you take care of yours.

But I gotta tell you.  If you expect me to let go and let you, if you want me to have faith and leave it all in your hands, well, I'm expecting a little more effort on your part here.

I get the whole "there has to be evil so that we can choose good" thing, I really do.

But children, Lord? 

Better you didn't exist.

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