Swimming Lessons

You've probably heard about the flooding we've been having here in New South Wales and Queensland. No? Well, it's one of the advantages of life down under. We escape the public eye. You have no idea what true freedom really is, America, until you disappear from the news.


After two years of drought, where it got so bad that the koalas were coming down out of their trees and begging for water from garden hoses, this past October was the beginning of the rainiest spring ever recorded in this area, since they started recording over one hundred years ago. (114 years, I believe, and that's a LONG time for this young country!) The creek down the road – the one they assured us hadn't flooded in over ten years – has flooded three times in December.

At one point, after a particularly rainy week, the kids looked at me and said, ''with all this rain, we might as well be back in Germany.'' I had to remind them that they were saying this dressed in shorts and T-shirts.

We've made it to the pool quite often though. The temperature has never dropped below 25C – the water temperature – which, although the Australians think we're crazy, is warmer than the pool in Hildrizhausen EVER was....HEATED! Plus, someone's gotta keep the water level down.

So that the twins have gone from being able to swim a few strokes from the side of the pool into my waiting arms to leaping and diving and dancing like porpoises upon the waves. Porpoises on crack cocaine, perhaps, but porpoises none-the-less.

We can't afford the swim lessons that every self-respecting Australian child takes every summer. Kids here swim earlier than German kids learn to ride two wheelers without training wheels. And let me tell you, that's pretty darn early. (Four, okay, the answer is four.) If they can't swim by prep school, they learn it there. With refresher courses every year. Swimming is big here. Yay me. How did I manage NOT to grow up in the country that so far encompasses every single one of the values I hold dear?!

Swimming. We swim almost daily and the boys jump and dive and twist and wriggle around the pool while Ryan gracefully guides her lithe figure between them doing her laps.

It ain't pretty. Aidan swims like Andrew did a few years ago. The lifeguard in Boeblingen almost went into early retirement. They both like to sink to the bottom, blowing bubbles on the way down, thrash about a bit under the water, and then surface after about thirty seconds to gasp and gulp for air. The trick to getting them to swim is to ignore the drama.   (Matthew meanwhile, cuts through the surface of the water like a shark; he is showing signs of being every bit as graceful as Ryan.)

Underwater they are all as graceful as porpoises. It is so much fun to see them twirl and dance. Underwater, they are birds in flight.

And, I think, what are swimming lessons this summer going to teach them that they aren't already learning on their own? Proper strokes would be nice. Staying above water a bit more will be helpful in the long run. But, the rest of it, the joy and the basic skills, they are learning as they dance and play.

They need to breathe. They need to stay afloat.  Eventually, they need to get to shore.

Which, it suddenly hits me, is what it's all about.

Failed Lotus Two

I had a chance to be a bigger person again last Saturday. (I have been meaning to post this for over a week but haven't even had the chance to turn on the computer.)

As we came back from the sunflower maze Aidan found an ID card lying on the front step to our apartment. It was one of those employer cards that you need to get into the building, or to buy lunch, or something similiar. And it obviously belonged to the nasty couple downstairs, who had once again closed the front door in my face as I was unloading the twins out of the Chrysler.

Did I do the proper thing and knock on their door to return it to them, proving, to themselves and to me, that I am a bigger person, and perhaps allowing my generosity to affect them and allow them to grow into better people themselves?

I most certainly did not.

Aidan is carrying it around the apartment as I type.

I get an evil joy inside me at the turmoil the loss of that card created downstairs. The futile search, the acrimonious accusations. THEN the hassle of calling it in and replacing it.

Honestly, all they had to do was be even halfway semi-decent human beings and they would have had their card.

And honestly, if I was a better person, they would have their card despite the fact that they aren't.

I like to think of myself as an agent of the universe, allowing things to work out as they should. What goes around comes around. Karma. Just desserts.

If I were still a practicing Catholic, I'd go to confession, say a couple of "Hail Marys" and be done with it.

Except I think you're supposed to be truly sorry for your sins.

And I'm still busy getting a big kick out of the whole thing.

Oh well. In the end, I'm only human. And still working on it.

Desiderata

The boys and I spent Saturday afternoon exploring the sunflower maze on the outskirts of Altdorf. It's a sad little affair this year. The flowers barely reach my head due to lack of sun and the stalks are bent over and broken due to all the rain and hail. Still, it is an effort on the part of the community to bring a little nature into out lives and the boys and I took advantage of it while their older siblings were out horsebackriding and playing baseball.

The maze, with its unexpected twists and turns, and all those darn dead-ends to stumble into, is an obvious metaphor for life.

And, in the center, we DID find stillness. (And stayed there almost two hours playing Indians and circus.)

Affixed to a post was this poem, written in the mid 1952 by Max Ehrmann,an American poet and philosopher of German descent. It is called "Desiderata."

Max Ehrmann's "Desiderata"

I have attached the last three verses in case you don't link to the whole thing.
May they bring you the peace and hope they do me.

"You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars:
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy."

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952

Amazing what you find amidst the broken flowers if only you take the time to look!

Failed Lotus

Lori doesn't read my blog regularly. I know, hard to believe.

But since she and I are able to spend two hours on the phone together and STILL not run out of things to say.....our justification is that we are picking up the kids' rooms and cleaning the kitchen while we dissect and discover the true meaning of life.

We find eachother brilliant, which is always the mark of a true friend!

I felt I had to share my latest bit of Tao wisdom with her the other day. You know, the one that goes...

"When other people are acting like assholes, does it really help any if you act like an asshole as well?"

And then we talked about ego.

Lori likes to remind me that "it's not all about you Christine."

As she switches the topic to herself. (We get along fabulously. Although I do believe we are the only two who could keep track of our rapidly diverging - and yet oddly united - stream of thought!)

I felt like quite an expert here. Because after all, not only have I read all these fantastic books on Eastern religions but I ran into that great guy from Pune, India (via Newark, New Jersey!)at the Atlanta airport last February.


"Be like the lotus," he told me. "Water sits on the lotus petal as the petal remains undisturbed."

And - shocker here - it is NOT all about me personally. Overcome that ego.

(He also turned me on to the version of the Bhagavad Gita I am reading now AND told me that the Buddhists completely missed the point when they broke off from Hinduism! We had ten hours in line together. He told me a lot more too, that I have on little scraps of paper until I find the time to type them up.)

So that I proudly explained to Lori how the realization that it is NOT all about me...and that being an asshole yourself isn't the answer to other assholes ....has been helping me around town. With the lady who stole my parking spot. I circled three more times and then found another. With the lady who lives downstairs and honestly has the time and temperament to worry about her garbage placement in relation to our car placement.....in OUR driveway!

But that not letting it get to me was actually helping me in the long run as well. A lot less anger, less stress, less to worry about. Inner peace.

Until I called the school yesterday. I should know better. But, after all that worry that the Nazi police would come and take my children from me, the truth this summer has been that it is hard to FIND someone working in Europe in the summer, close to lunch-time, when they are out ill, or generally just taking the afternoon off. Still a bureacracy.

So that I was fairly complacent and just called to see IF and HOW we unregister the children from school.

IF and HOW. What do I need to do to officially get the kids out of school since we are moving?

And the principal quietly reminded me about "Schulpflicht." The kids are legally obligated to go to school here.

That did it. No more lotus blossom. I was asking HOW. I was not asking for information regarding yet another obligation I supposedly have to a school system that apparently has no obligation to teach my child. She just needs to be there.



"Ich kenne die verdammte Regeln." I told her. "I know the damned rules. Which is why we are leaving the damn country when we are."

Honestly Lori, it felt GREAT!

There is a point here in Germany where an American has to learn to stand up for themselves. It's a very direct society, a very much in your face and tell you what to do and mind your business for you kind of place. For instance, BEWARE if you bring your baby out without socks, or feed it the wrong way, or let your kids swing in the trees.......not only do Germans know how THEY would do it, they like to tell you how YOU should be doing it too.

The German friends I tell these stories to find me hysterical. They know it's true. But they accept it as a fact of life and get a big kick out of watching me go up against it as an American. I swear, Babette and Dominique BOTH CHUCKLED at me!

I know. I have that same instinct myself. I believe it's the reason big government seems to work so well here. People like to make sure everyone is doing what they are supposed to be doing. It makes them feel secure, I guess.

But I digress. (No kidding right?)

I swore at the principal. It felt FANTASTIC. And then I WAS able to rein it right back in and get back to the point of a setting up a meeting to unregister the kids.

So that I do believe anger has its place...in short, tempered bursts. But that we shouldn't let it control us or interfere with what we need to do.

I had to remind myself that me acting like an idiot wasn't going to make HER act any less small-minded. And that it wasn't about me. That she is just a simple person who only knows her one simple way. And that her not being able to think outside the box might annoy me temporarily but that it wasn't anything personal and is something that she has to deal with the rest of her life.

Me....I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

I never said I was perfect Lori. I am still a small, imperfect person. But I am striving to be that lotus... and at least big enough to know that I still need to work on it!

Be like the lotus, Christine. Be like the lotus.


And if that doesn't work remember she'll still be sitting in the same flower box, in the same dry soil, with no ability to see beyond the window sill....while I am able to offer my children the chance to blossom and grow towards the light!

Om.

SPEECHLESS! Well almost....

I bit my tongue yesterday but it has to be said.

Burn A Koran Day? BURN A KORAN DAY?! REALLY? From an AMERICAN CHRISTIAN pastor?

Doesn't say much for American public schools if he missed this most basic of concepts. Something about a country founded on religious freedom? You know, the Pilgrims, Thanksgiving and all that. The whole basis of separation of Church and State. With liberty and justice for ALL? ( I know, I know, we've ignored that tenet from day one, but still...)

Never mind tolerance and generosity and loving your neighbor as yourself and all that good stuff.

This guy is LEADING a church?!

That frightens me as much as terrorist-funded ashrams in the Afghan mountains.

Someone please let him know he's misread the Bible.

My Way!

Trying to explain my belief in Taoism to the two Jehovah's Witnesses on my stairway yesterday got me to thinking.

How WOULD I explain what I have gotten from studying the Tao to someone who has never heard of it?

There's a lot of talk about balance and moderation and staying within the circle. About accepting change and going with the flow.

Tao means "the way." It's central theory is that we all come from the same source and return to it, hopefully learning something in the lifetime(s) in between. You might have heard of "universal consciousness." Christians probably mean something similar when they talk of us all being sons and daughters of God, that we all have God within us.

The Jehovah's Witnesses were actually interested. I told them just to substitute the word "God" in for 'Universal Consciousness." An oversimplification but something to let them know that I was getting from the Tao what they were getting from....well, honestly I didn't ask for particulars.

They seemed okay with that. And honestly, I felt at "one" with them, so whatever I am beginning to believe seems to be that which we are all looking for in our own ways and different religions. They glowed with their fervor and left me to glow in mine.

They did pose a question I found interesing. "Why are we here on this earth?" As I explained about spiritual enlightenment and personal growth (but was wise enough to leave out the multiple lifetimes part!) they asked why Our Father would have put us here if not to enjoy it? SHouldn't we enjoy life here on earth and follow the rules our loving Father has given us to serve him?

Well, I have my issues with that, since I believe (and this here is borrowing from the Hindu!) that we have chosen our OWN circumstances on this earth in order to advance our spiritual enlightenment in this world. In other words, we CHOSE this life to help us find God. But I wasn't going to argue semantics with them.

And I do like the part about enjoying our time here on earth. Food for thought.

The biggest difference between the Eastern religions I have been studying and the Judeo/Christian-Muslim beliefs is that the Eastern religions (Buddhist, Hindu and Sikh) believe that spiritual enlightenment - or God - can be found through many different paths. We choose the path - or religion - that helps us personally achieve God.

There is no one right way to find God. I like that.

I'm pleased to be getting closer to whatever it is I am seeking. I know I am getting way too "New Age" for most folks and so end with a quote from the Tao that I believe sums up what I am learning from it.

(Verse 29)
The Master sees things as they are,
without trying to control them.
She lets them go their own way,
and resides in the center of the circle.

It was all mumbo jumbo to me two years ago too. But after further study (of both the Hindu Bagavath Gita and the Tao), yoga and meditation I am beginning to feel the truth of the words.

And learning that faith is a feeling more than a knowing.

You want real words? Something you can take with you into real life?

Here then, is my basic personal translation of the mumbo jumbo above.

"When other people are acting like assholes, does it really help any if you act like an asshole as well?"

Try it - I'm telling you it works!

Careful What You Wish For

I'm sorry Claire, but my favorite blog of all times is the one you posted on February 3 last year. The one where you rose to the "challenge of changing your life" and knew that "having children means relinquishing control and accepting that you're not the only force directing your life." Beautifully said.

Ain't it a kick in the pants that you got pregnant with twins?!

Okay, you may not be laughing yet but I got another one. My blog on February 11 of this year, the one where I mention a little bit of snow in Germany and the USA and laughingly tell them to "Go ahead, pile on the delays. Make me take off my shoes. Do a strip search."

I wasn't strip searched.

But I barely made it out of Stuttgart, had to overnight in a snowstorm in Atlanta and spent 8 hours the next day standing in line at the Atlanta airport.

I believe I got the last seat out of Stuttgart when I started shaking so hard that I had to grip onto the counter. (They had told me the next flight out was in five days.) I went boldly where I never had any intention of going again - through Charles De Gaulle airport in Paris - and arrived in the middle of a snowstorm blanketing the entire USA, every state except for Hawaii.

Claire - listen to me now - NEVER EVER EVER EVER go through Charles De Gaulle with those kids alone. NEVER EVER EVER. Unless you can figure out a way to carry that double stroller up the steps alone. Or all three kids, since sometimes they take away the stroller too. I think it's a little game the French like to play with us. Although I still love the language, the culture and the smiles - Charles De Gaulle has got to go! (Really Claire, ask Gaeton for me, WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?!)

I raced through a tight connection at CDG (Go figure, the flight was a l'heure.) and made it only due to those fantastic new security procedures they put everybody through at the gate. No strip search, but a nice pat down for EVERYONE. Got held up as they were double-checking the credentials on the elderly lady in the wheelchair from Morocco. "Oh good" said the elderly American lady behind me. "They're profiling." No go - they pat down elderly American ladies now too. (Felt a little guilty as the Moroccan lady "Salaamed" us all later upon arrival in the USA but hey....)

Atlanta was blanketed in snow, they weren't making that one up. But it was still all a great adventure, right down to the eight hour wait at the ticker counter the next day. I was so thrilled to be on the right side of the Atlantic and come on, be honest here, if you had to spend the day in line at the airport with a bunch of strangers, would you rather do it with a bunch of Germans or Americans?

I wrote a lot and learned even more; some of it being that everyone has a story to tell, that in a crisis your fate is governed by random chance and that if you have to be in a crisis, it's best to do it surrounded by Americans. I also met a man from New Jersey (via Bangalore, India) who enlightened me on Hindu philosophy and how the Buddhists got it wrong - and set me my next path of spiritual enlightenment! (He couldn't believe I'd already read the Bhagavath Geeta and I couldn't believe I was finally beginning to understand it!) Never a dull moment, I tell you.

So that, in the end, we both were right Claire. "There is honestly no amount of torture they can put me through that will compare with that of travelling with a large family." (me, Feb 11, 2010) and "Great things can happen while you weren't getting what you wanted." (Claire, Feb 3, 2009)

Philosopher Mom : Part One

How does a twenty-first century housewife carry on an affair with a nineteenth century preacher? Let me introduce - or reintroduce - you to the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson. "Be, and not seem." As my own words take shape in my head, and as ideas struggle to take form, I feel no guilt in leaving you to words penned from a higher source - while I figure out the muddle of my own thoughts and get them down.




"There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better or worse as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it. It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude."




Taken directly from Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay "Self-Reliance" as found in "The Spiritual Emerson" by Tarcher Cornerstone Editions, 2008.