Wednesday, August 6, 2014

The Great Purge Begins: Defragging My Facebook

Seemed like a great picture for having too much too handle!

So. I didn't have the courage to "unfriend" many people yet.  Only a handful.  People who have really made decisions in life that I can't abide by.

Most I just stopped "following."  Because I don't need to see their family photo albums or hear about what they watched on television or where they went for dinner or know what they are doing at the shopping centre on a Sunday. 

And this isn't because I don't care; it's because I don't have time to be personally involved in the lives of over 200 people living in every continent on earth except Antartica.  People I have met in my previous life as an expat, people I went to school with lifetimes ago, people I only knew for a few short years or people that just seemed really nice at the time.

Some of them I can't even be sure how I know anymore.  Who are they and how did they end up my friends?  I checked the country to be sure.  Ahah, Germany, must be English Group. 

It turned out I didn't have a lot of people on there I actively disliked.  Although there was one I just realised must have unfriended ME months ago.  Problem solved.

Most are just really kind or interesting people or people with similar skills or hobbies and interests.  Or kids with Asperger's.  Or kids the same age.

I had to keep all the family members, of course!!!

I unfollowed anyone who I was only keeping on there just in case they might help me in some way in the future, that were a good connection to have.  That is not a reason to keep tabs on someone.

And I unfollowed anyone I kept on there only to keep tabs on them, to compare, to see how their lives are going, to make sure my life is okay.

I strongly suspect this is why most people are on Facebook to begin with.

I unfollowed anyone who gave me that "not-so-good" feeling, people I was never REALLY friends with but we ran in the same social circles, people I was close to once and who then turned mean, people that I never really liked that much to begin with but felt I had to friend because they asked me to.

I unfollowed a lot of really really nice and great and interesting people too, people I just don't have the time to follow up with and whose content is just bogging me down.

I kept people with mutual interests - my old writers' groups, my new dance troupe - and true friends who are truly interested in the same things that I am.

If you read my blog, or have told me how fantastic I am recently, I kept you too! 

And already my content has changed to reflect my interests - world interests and social concerns  - rather than being a barrage of unwanted information on daily activities and suburban trip-trap.

I made that last word up.  I don't know what I mean.

All I know is that I didn't care about most of the shit that was up there before - even if it was posted by people I really liked - and now I am learning about Rita's view on the atrocities between Israel and Palestine and what Margarets thinks about representations of the Romani people.  (Or that Sharon likes my pretty dress.  That's really important too!  I need people who care about ME as well as the state of the world.)

By clearing out the clutter, I have made room for the people who post things I am actually interested in. 

I am hoping that defragging my facebook is just a small part of finding myself again, of remembering what I am really interested in and what really matters to me.  And who.  Yes, Mat, for reminding me of what's really important. 

It's part of not trying to please everyone else, of learning that not everyone needs to be my buddy, that I need to focus my energies in order for them to be effective.

Although commenting on my blog or how great I look in my dance costume really works too. 

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