An American Christmas Greeting

Our Christmas this year sounds embarrassingly close to this spoof I wrote two years ago.  I guess because you don't put in the bad stuff, or the hard work that got you to the good stuff, just the final success.  All of which should be okay to celebrate.  Still, in the spirit of sarcasm, this is up again this year.  I'd like to follow it up with our Australian Christmas Greeting this year.  A bit of honesty and a bit of laughing at ourselves too.  And maybe an Aspergers Christmas Greeting too.  Because I really do like to tell it like it is!!!


Merry Christmas friends and family,

Another year has come and gone in which none of us has had the time to visit, phone, email or even twitter. Check us out on Facebook if you get a chance.

And so we'd like to share news of our family with the 400 of you who are closest in our hearts during this joyous holiday season.

All of the kids are, of course, in the gifted program at school, the school being the best in the entire country. Our son is the star of the soccer, baseball, and basketball teams and is training for his black belt in karate, the youngest ever to do so at the age of seven. He also plays a Stradavarius. Our ten year old daughter is travelling to New York City on the weekends to dance ballet professionally. And weren't we surprised when NASA called to ask her opinion about the latest space station. All of which somehow led to a modelling gig. She'll also be in the Olympics next year for stadium jumping. We've enclosed the photo of her on her new Thoroughbred. My husband meanwhile is never home, business (which obviously is booming) taking him to Shang-hai, Syndey, Berlin, Moscow and Paris this year alone. And yet he somehow finds time to coach the soccer team, sing in the church choir, travel with the cub scouts and volunteer at the local homeless shelter.

I am not doing much, still busy with homeschooling the youngest two before they enter preschool. They are trilingual now, at the age of three, but having some dificulty reading the French. I've repainted all the bedrooms in our six bedroom home (photo also enclosed) and made curtains to match. In between preparing organic vegan home-cooked meals for the entire family (grown in our own garden) and sewing all of our clothes, I have found time to open my own silk-screening business, currently bringing in $40,000 a month, in addition to continuing to work as a cardiologist at the local hospital.

Wishing you and yours a blessed and holy holiday season. (The Connors)